Thursday, May 24, 2007

Poetry Thursday: Dialogue

They said, "We caught it just in time. Amputation should do the trick."
We said, "Thank you. Our mother means so much to us."

I had a nightmare. Mother in a casket, son asking, "Where's Mom-Mom going?"

I said, "I don't think they're telling us everything."
My brother agreed.

She said, "I have bad news and I didn't want to spoil your weekend. I have cancer in my lungs."

They said, "We don't know how we missed the lesions on her lung, we'll need to do more chemo."
We said, "We need to know everything, we need to be aggressive."

They said, "Sarcomas are tricky. There's not much research about them because they're so rare. We're just trying our best and experimenting as we go."
We said, "It's better to know what we're up against than not."

They said, "Her lung has collapsed and is almost full of cancer."
We said, "We'll call the Southern Branch of the family. They need to know."

The Priest said, "I can't administer this rite to a non-Catholic unless you ask for it."
She said, "Please."

They said, "We're making headway. The breathing passage is opening, but her chest is still filling with cancer. We can only do so much radiation at a time."
We said, "Be as aggressive as possible."

They said, "The problem she's having swallowing is because of a tumor in her brain. We think we can get it."
He said, "Don't rush down here. Everyone has this type of brain cancer. They feel certain they can get rid of it."

They said, "Two weeks off of radiation is standard procedure."
We said, "The doctors should know..."

He said, "She's having trouble with her balance. She seems confused."
They said, "Bring her in, there may be bleeding on the brain."

They said, "The brain cancer has spread to her brain stem. Soon she won't be able to breathe on her own. She has less than I month to live."
He said, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you wanted to know everything as I know it. She'll go to hospice because that's the procedure when someone's dying of cancer."

I said, "How will I explain this to my three year old son who loves her so much...?"

Sorry, it's been on my mind a lot. I'll be traveling down to see her soon. I can't imagine it'll be for the last time...


paris parfait said...

So sorry to hear about this terrible development. My heart goes out to you, your mom and your family.

gautami tripathy said...

This is terrible news. I wish the best for your mom. Hugs!

wendy said...

I am so very sorry.

Saoirse Redgrave said...

Thank you for all your support. This has been the roughest thing my family's been through and we've had no easy answers and no simple solutions. I have so much difficulty fathoming my son losing his Mom-Mom (I try not to think about my own loss, but it's always there). I had almost 12 years with one of my grandmothers (the other--not my mom's mom) died before I met her. Jai will still have one--but it's not the same.


Jessica said...

This is expressed very poignantly -- I'm very sorry for your family's struggles through this illness.

chicklegirl said...

I lost my grandmother to cancer, although as an adult. It's never easy, no matter what your age, to see those closest to your heart be in so much pain, to face such difficult decisions about managing that pain when all else fails.

Your poem is lovely in its honesty and that brought me a sense of catharsis. I hope that you will take all the time you need, do all that you must, to grieve and get through this.

Saoirse Redgrave said...

Jessica and Chicklegirl, thank you for your thoughts. I do intend to work on this and deal as honestly with what I'm going through as I can. Writing certainly helps me address it and review it.

And it's a cheap therapy, too ;-)

I'm coping--Thanks for your kind words,

writerwoman said...

Sending you hugs and love.

Your friend,

rebecca said...

i'm sorry to hear heart goes out to you because i know how you feel....i lost my mother to cancer as well. i wish you all the best during this most difficult time.